Kirk Israel's commonplace and blog. Quotes and links daily since 2001.
2024.04.16
humans are a subspecies of elf known for dying really quickly and being stressed the whole time
as-easel

i really need to start walking around with sets of giant googly eyes.

The Monster Manual but it's blatantly written by the monsters:

mimc Mouth perfec t size for put baby in to n\ap! inside very Soft and Comfort baby sleep soundly put baby in Mimic Mouth. Put Baby In Mimic Mouth. no problems ever in mimmic mouth because good Shape and Support for baby neck weak of big baby head. Amimic Mouth yes a place for a baby put baby in mimic mouth can trust mimic for giveing good love to baby. friend mimic
(a few people online pointed out how that photo looks just like a mimic...)
2024.04.15



hello my name is self help singh
international life coach motivational
speaker and best selling author of the
book do nothing do nothing
there is no purpose or meaning to find
in life
so just exist and do nothing
stop waking up early
life is shit so sleep through as much of
it as possible 5 a.m club bad idea 11
a.m club much better idea stop doing the
things you don't want to do make the
excuses avoid the work commitments the
friend get togethers the family
gatherings if you so wish make the
excuse book and fill it with excuses
keep the excuses ready for the bus for
the wife for the friends
say no to the team's meetings to the
tick-tock
say no to the exercise say no to the
diet eat whatever the fuck you want
soon you will be dead so what difference
is it making stop listening to what
people say about you
stop chasing the perfect summer body
whether you are fat or thin haters will
hate
and soon your haters will also die
hopefully in the most horrific manner
joking not joking oh am i joking
do the least amount of work without
getting fired nike say
just do it
self-help singh say just do nothing
release yourself of obligation and
responsibility and just do nothing
everything you think you need to do
first done before you and will be done
after you
so stop doing
you do it best when you do nothing at
all you are not special you are not
unique creation the world is fucked and
you cannot unfuck it so just do you and
do nothing
stop spending your days searching for
the meaning of life
for that is the most futile exercise
you will die one day just as confused as
you are now so be happy with what and
who you are
as my good friend farooq freddie mercury
once said
nothing really matters
so do
nothing

Open Photo Gallery


I wanted to see if ChatGPT could just extend the canvas of the image I use at alienbill.com but it decided to redraw the whole thing. I kind of like it though, and it didn't put in a mouth...
2024.04.14
In School of Honk today we did mini-band break outs, each of the 5 subgroups put together an original musical composition. Based on the rhythm our leader/drummer Nan had given us, I was inspired to bring out an old song idea I had - a redone melody for "The Alphabet Song" (which deserves its own melody, not one it has to share with Twinkle Twinkle etc)...
2024.04.13
2024.04.12
RIP Nicole Brown Simpson.
And Ron Goldman.
And Norm McDonald.

Weirdest OJ Simpson cameo is a namedrop in the Buck Rogers episode "Planet of the Slave Girls" (yikes):
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers : Come on, Duke, it's me.

Major Duke Danton : If it's you Rogers, who's the juice?

Dr. Theopolis : The what?

Capt. William "Buck" Rogers : O.J. Simpson. I told you all about him out in the desert. Running back out of USC. He played for the Buffalo Bills.
I mean to be fair canonically Buck got frozen in 1987 which was even before the Naked Gun stuff but still.
Thinking of the U shaped curve where middle age tends to be kind of a low point. 40 for women, 50 for men.

Sort of feeling it. But it feels, like, drive by circumstances rather than existential concerns? Like if I was rich - or even had a job I felt secure and productive in - I think I could get over the other stuff and be my usual chipper self. Which sort of sucks, I'd like to think that my cheerful existential outlook is independent of circumstances but its definitely gotten a boost from tech being a good career for most of the decades of my adult life, but stinking up the joint right now.
via
2024.04.11
2024.04.10
Surprise- thought those were JUST eclipse glasses that are now useless? They may be what Douglas Adams described in "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe":

"Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses have been specially designed to help people develop a relaxed attitude to danger. At the first hint of trouble, they turn totally black and thus prevent you from seeing anything that might alarm you."

If yours are still black all the time, watch out...